the ultimate smooth jazz
(via ghost-like)Source: duck-princess-moved
Let me tell you about everyone’s favorite game, Sonic Battle! Did you know that the original Japanese title for this game was “Sonic no b-baka!” It was later changed to “Sonic Battle” because Emerl didn’t notice Eggman and this made Eggman throw a hissy fit. It’s a real tragedy.
Anyway, Sonic Battle is a game that teaches the importance of neglecting robots and beating up your friends! You see, a million years ago, Professor Gerald Robotnik discovered a gizoid. Not be confused with a gizzard, a gizoid is a fight robot. The professor tried to awaken the robot by staring at it, but it was no use. He decided to let someone else deal with it.
Some time later, Dr. Eggman found the gizoid, and just like his grandpappy, he also could not awaken the robot. The egg-shaped doctor tossed the gizoid into the ocean, never to be found again….and then Sonic found it!
Sonic decided to keep the robot and raise it like a tamagotchi. He named it Emerl because sounds similar to that one chef who says “bam!” all the time. Anyway, Sonic’s friends had a major influence on Emerl. By hanging out with them, Emerl learned many things.
Emerl learned the importance of being cute from Tails. He learned what it takes to be a good mother from Amy. He learned the importance of blackmail from Rouge. He learned how to raise the roof from Knuckles. Shadow taught the gizoid how to obliterate everything that’s not his friend. Lastly, Cream taught Emerl the true superpower of friendship and using flowers as jewelry.
Now that Sonic and his friends turned Emerl into a fabulous robot, Dr. Eggman wanted Emerl back in his life. When Emerl called the doctor an idiot and refused to help Eggman conquer the world, Eggman wobbled away and Metal Sonic locked him in a closet.
In the end, Emerl could not handle being a happy-go-lucky robot and a deadly weapon. He also couldn’t handle hanging out with all of Sonic’s friends. It was too much to bear, so Emerl exploded. Sonic was going to miss his new friend, but he knew that Emerl’s spirit would come back to haunt him and his friends one day.
Holy fuck this blog is hilarious!Source: teamartail.com